How to Be a Discerning Woman, Episode 1: Why Do We Need Discernment? | Word First

Melissa Krueger warns us that our own Hearts can be deceitful we have to be on guard against those who might come in to seek to destroy us but we have to be in guard against our own heart that might deceive us and tell us what we want to hear this is the Revive Our Hearts podcast for January 23 2023 I'm Danny grash along with our host Nancy DeMoss Wagner co-author of seeking him [Music] as you may know last fall Revive Our Hearts hosted a true woman conference one of the things we did in this conference we had a whole set of breakout sessions with different speakers different topics dozens of them that people could choose from they had to sign up in advance when they registered for which breakout sessions they wanted to attend and I was really surprised pleasantly when one of the breakout sessions that got the most interest people signing up in advance for it was by a friend of mine Melissa Kruger a session on the subject of discernment and I thought wow I'm a little surprised that this many people hundreds and hundreds of them want to hear a talk on the sermon but I was really thrilled because I don't know if there's any topic that we need more help with today than how to discern how to discern when we're making hard decisions when there's a fork in the road and we've gotta know is this the better way to go or is that and then have to discern when in our entertainment choices and the things we read and the things we see and believe and how we process them how do we hold everything up to the light of scripture and make biblically informed Discerning choices well I heard great things about that breakout session after the conference and that's why we're wanting to share it with you this week on reviver Hearts Melissa Krueger and her husband have three children she serves as director of women's initiatives for the Gospel Coalition and she's the author of multiple books including the Envy of Eve finding contentment in a Covetous World well today I'm thrilled that we get to hear the first part of Melissa's message on becoming a more Discerning woman I know that's something I need and I also know it's something every one of us needs so let's listen carefully here's Melissa Krueger [Music] when I was 21 I was sitting in my college apartment and I had what felt to me like a terrible decision to make I was engaged to my college boyfriend we've been dating for three years and I had a ring on my finger and I was terrified I didn't know if I should marry him and I didn't know if I should give the ring back we talked to our pastor we talked to our friends we sought wise counsel and my pastor looked at me and he said you've been dating long enough you need to make a decision I kind of wanted to perpetually live an indecision he said you need to give this guy his life back and let him go on if you're not going to marry him and so he came over that night on the night we had decided this was the night of decision and I gave him the ring back and I can say even standing here it was probably the hardest decision I've ever made in my life all those years ago it's now I don't know how many years I can't do the math that fast but it's been a while and I look back and I remember how completely lost I felt there were no big red flags there was no situation of like this isn't a Christian I should clearly not marry him he loved the Lord he was he loved me um he was a great guy and but I I knew in my heart I felt this deep unsureness and I can remember in those moments thinking Lord if you would just tell me it was just like in the Bible please marry this person I would do it kids you know I totally would do it um but there was no such Revelation no such light from heaven and I felt like I was walking in darkness as I was trying to make that decision I am sure as women today you have felt the same thing I'm sure you all have decisions in your life that are not clearly defined by scripture so let me start this talk as we we move into talking about discernment the very first thing if the Bible says it do it okay like that's we're not going to talk about that stuff today so that doesn't take discernment that just takes obedience okay that's just old-fashioned Jesus said it you need to do it because it's really going to be the best for you it's not like some law to put on your back he doesn't yeah it's not like you have to earn your salvation it's life so let me just start by saying that the first thing to discern is God's word is true and it is what is always best for you that's the first thing but then we get to these places in life right like Where Are You Gonna spend your time on today you gotta come to true woman you gonna watch TV you know I mean it's not like watching Netflix is a sin necessarily um we have questions like how are you going to use your gifts for the church Where Are You Gonna volunteer where are you gonna move in life what are you going to spend your time on during the day what are you going to spend your money on during the day there are a lot of questions in our life that there's no magic scroll coming down from heaven saying this is the way walking it you know we wish there was for a lot of these decisions in life but there aren't and so what I want us to talk about in this talk is how do we become women who make wise choices as we deal with a Marketplace of life and in this life let's just be honest people are screaming at us all day long hey you need this hey this will make your life better hey this will make you look better hey this will solve all your cleaning problems you know I mean like there are voices crying out to us every day and in fact I think we can say I'm always a little bit hesitant to say this is the air that has never been before yeah I'm always a little bit nervous like over dramatic dramatized like oh my goodness life has never been like this but I think I can honestly say we have never had access to as much information in the human history as we do today like I mean I think that's just an honest appraisal while there is nothing new Under the Sun there are new ways to find out things and so the reality is we have a gazillion things coming at us all the time and it's super hard to know what is true and what is false it's really hard as we look at the world before us and and yet at the same time I think what we can know about the world while there are new modes of information at the yeah it used to be you at least had to type in Google something now you're just like hey Alexa yeah you don't even have to type anymore to get information what's the weather today hey what's the capital of Finland yeah whatever I mean I can just ask Alexa anything and she tells that she keeps my tea timed perfectly she's amazing she's like my best friend but we have all this access to information but the reality is there are still two voices that cry out to us I know we think we have a thousand voices but they're honestly out there they all fall into one of two camps the voice of wisdom or the voice of folly so if you have your Bibles or if you need to open your screen I totally understand Proverbs 9. so Proverbs 9 1. wisdom has built her house she has hewned her Seven Pillars she has slaughtered her Beast she has mixed her wine she has also set her table she has sent out her young women to call from the highest places in the town whoever is simple let him turn in here to him who lacks sense she says come eat of my bread drink of my wine I have mixed leave your simple ways and live and walk in the way of insight so that's that's lady wisdom now let's contrast that look at skip down to verse 9 13. the woman Folly is loud she is seductive and knows nothing she sits at the door of her house she takes a seat on the highest places of the Town calling to those who pass by who are going straight on their way whoever is simple let them turn in here and to him who lacks sense she says stolen water is sweet and bread eaten in secret is Pleasant but he does not know that the Dead are there that her guests are in the depths of sheol okay so we have two contrasting voices lady wisdom and Lady Folly and they are both in the marketplace and they're both calling out they're both preparing a feast and I want you to compare verse four and compare verse 16. do you notice anything interesting they're calling out to the same people okay here's our reality we're simple okay so they're they're not calling out to oh she's caught wisdom's calling out to the smart people and Folly's crawling out to the not so smart people no that's not what we have we have whoever's simple let him turn in here so the only option is that we're simple okay so that's our option we are simple but two voices are calling out they're both inviting them into their homes and look at verse six leave your simple ways one is an invitation to leave the simple life and what live and then look at verses 18 but he does not know that the Dead are there that her guests are in the depths of Shield what's she all the place of death okay so wisdom she's there she's saying come live she's out she's actually on Instagram y'all I mean she's on Twitter she's there yeah there are there are voices in every Marketplace calling out with wisdom and there are voices in every town and every Marketplace that are folly and the difference between the two is life and death discernment is a very significant thing both are calling out and it would be one thing if we were just talking about culture I think we can believe it about culture we can look at culture and say yep for sure there is folly being spouted out every day in culture and there is wisdom there's genuine wisdom that's also being spouted out and you know we all believe in common Grace as Christians even non-christians can have some wisdom sometime it's not like they're all just putting out bad things there's wisdom out there and there's Folly and the biggest question is how do we discern the difference okay and here's our second problem I wish I could just say we'll go to church and all you get in church is wisdom or follow all those Christian influencers on Instagram that's all they're putting out is wisdom the reality it's not just culture that has a problem scripture warns us that the church has a problem and we need to pay attention our problem isn't just Society the church actually has a problem too and this is where I think we get into some real trouble as women here's the thing false teachers in the church look like Christians okay listen to how and and here's the thing Jesus talked about this problem Paul talked about this problem and Peter talked about this problem this is not new okay sometimes I think we think they were all good guys and the facts they were all great no Paul regularly talked about different people who had totally left the faith altogether we're just not reading our Bibles sometimes okay and so listen to what Jesus said Jesus said this is Matthew 7. enter by the narrow gate for the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction and those who enter it are many for the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life and those who find it are few beware of false prophets who come to you in sheep's clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves you will recognize them by their fruits okay notice they look like real Christians they are going to claim to love Jesus they are going to do spiritual things and they will probably be pretty likable or else people would not follow them okay these false wolves these people and sheep clothing who come into the church who invade your life they are lady folly and they are trying to get you to choose the path of death even though they look like one of the sheep but they are there we have to remember the story of Judas in the New Testament okay and here's what always strikes me about Judas you remember at the Last Supper when the disciples were sitting around and Jesus says one of you is going to betray me notice what they don't all do they don't all start Cyanide and Judas yeah they don't have been I've been wondering about him the whole time that is not what they do they what do they all say is it I is it I Lord that should make you feel a lot better about your faith okay because I'd be like it's probably me it's probably me yeah but what they didn't know they didn't know was Jesus you remember Judas he went out with the 72 when they came back saying look at all the Miracles We performed Judas was there when they went to town to town and saw the Miracles and ate the bread when there were only Five Loaves and then they had been he was there he heard all the same sermons he had his feet washed he was there he saw and he heard and he never believed he never believed he had an outward association with Jesus that had no inward affection is the most terrifying Life to Live because you're probably lying to yourself and you're lying to everyone around you he had an outward association with no inward affection and that is what ravenous wolves will have they will use Jesus as long as it works for them and then when it no longer works they will drop Jesus secondly people are going to want what false teachers are giving I think sometimes I see things happening especially in our online world because here's the thing yeah you used to go to like one church and you heard from one pastor and you kind of took what he had to say and you listened now we have thousands of people influencing us faith-wise and there are some good things to that and there's some bad things to that but here's the reality people want what false teachers are giving here's what second Timothy tells us Paul writing to Timothy says for the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching but will have itching ears and they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions and will turn away from listening to the truth and wander off to myths that sounds a lot like what's happening today doesn't it people do not want sound teaching they do not want historical Christianity so let's find somebody who will tell us what we want to hear anyway and they will accumulate so here's the thing it's not just that there are wolves going after you it's us we want to accumulate teachers for us ourselves who will tell us what our itching ears want to hear so we have to be on guard against those who might come in to seek to destroy us but we have to be in guard against our own heart that might deceive us and tell us what we want to hear 's the good news eventually their fruit will expose them you know and and I have to say this I think sometimes when someone is exposed as being a false teacher we get so upset at ourselves we're like why was I duped yeah why maybe something wrong with me just remember none of the disciples knew Judas okay we can't know what's in someone else's heart and we shouldn't be walking around with our judging stick saying yeah we don't have to live that kind of we have to be aware that it's a reality without personally judging individually until fruit is exposed okay and here's how that fruit's gonna look this is in second Peter 2 1. but false prophets also arose among the people just as there will be false teachers among you who will secretly bring in destructive heresies even denying the master who bought them bringing upon themselves Swift destruction and many will follow their sensuality and because of them the way of truth will be blasphemed and in their greed they will exploit you with false Words Their condemnation from long ago is not idle and their destruction is not asleep okay this is a Stern warning but I want you to see three things and three ways they deny Jesus first they denied Jesus by their pride they will deny the Master's teaching okay when you blaspheme the word of truth that is essentially saying he said yeah I knew Jesus said this but I think he meant this you know and they're gonna they're gonna do this they're gonna play with God's word and suit it to fit their own needs the second thing that's going to expose them is usually going to be sex they will be sensuality and they will invite others into their sensuality and that's going to take a lot of different forms it might not be their actions it might be their teaching but it's going to be part of the false reality that goes out the third thing is money there's going to be greed that will eventually be exposed and I think when I look around at false teachers who have been exposed usually all three are present you will usually see pride sex and money as they are exposed let me clarify one thing when we're talking about false teachers it's not the same thing as a teacher who is wrong sometimes else I will get off the stage and quietly exit because we are all wrong sometimes every teacher who's teaching at this conference looks back on something she said and says oh that was not right yeah that was not good oh my goodness I can't believe I said that that was about this and it's clearly about this you know we all have those moments where we have taught incorrectly and in fact we see this happen in scripture in Acts there was a Jew named Apollos and he was a gifted teacher and he was teaching but the scriptures tell us that he only knew about the baptism of John and so he began to speak boldly in the synagogue but when Priscilla and Aquila heard him they took him aside and explained to him the way of God more accurately what they didn't do was shout you're a false teacher yeah they so we're not we're not going around looking at everyone to make sure they pass our theological test okay we're not everyone who gets something wrong theologically is a false teacher this is really important for us to grasp it's actually part of discernment to be able to understand oh we can have a mistaken teacher but that's not necessarily a false teacher we throw away our Foss teacher on Twitter way too fast I mean like none of us would stand in the day of judgment on Twitter there is just this condemnation that can come that is not what I see in scripture there is a big difference of being willing to be corrected versus someone who stands and says no I know what God's word teaches and I am trying to undermine it the purposefulness is very different so here are here are four signs of a false teacher that I just want you to have in your mind first they do not respond to correction so Apollos started teaching what was right okay he changed as soon as he found out he didn't know the Full Gospel he changed he started teaching what was right so a false teacher will not respond to Corrections second they sit above God's word rather than under God's word positionally how do you come to God's word are you looking at it and saying hmm I'll think about whether I agree with that and that's how false teachers do they kind of look out they're like hmm that one I don't like just not going to talk about that one much okay or do you sit under it and say huh I don't understand what this is saying but I know that's a lack in me not a lacking God okay like when I look at the word and you know I mean they're all confusing Parts in there you know we look at some parts and we're like I am not sure why this was good and why did God command them to do that you know we all have those moments but what I have learned to say is I don't understand it but one day I will God will fully be made right when I am right like I I do not doubt that at all my lack of understanding is just about a deficiency in me not in God's word that's sitting under the scriptures I am not in Judgment of them okay I am trying to live life in front of them okay thirdly their growth in the faith usually means turning from historical Christianity one thing my husband always says he's a professor of Seminary and he always says we are not trying to teach anything new here we are trying to teach old truths in new and beautiful ways so when you see somebody coming up with a new truth about Jesus your red flag should be going off huge and saying huh no one in the church has ever thought this before hmm maybe it's not true okay so historic Community we we are solar scripture a people but we are a people who belong to a historic church that extends back since Jesus started calling his people okay so the church we should listen to the history of the church it's a good thing to think through it doesn't mean the church hasn't got it wrong sometimes church has got plenty of things wrong but we are a historical body and if somebody starts saying all of a sudden yeah this is totally fine to God that no one in Christianity has ever said before we should have big red flags going off in our mind fourth their lives will eventually demonstrate the fruit of their unbelief it may take some time but eventually their fruit will will be shown for us so those are four signs of false teachers and these are the reasons that we need discernment so I've just to put all of this in a category the reality is we have two voices calling out we have wisdom and we have Folly in the marketplace but we also have false teachers in the church so we are women deeply in need of discernment what you cannot say is well I'm just going to trust what other Christians out there are saying and you cannot trust even your own heart a lot of the time because we might be accumulating for ourselves itching years when our 18 years want to hear [Music] Melissa Krueger has been explaining how to use discernment to be on guard against false teachings and as she shared today those false teachings and false teachers are more common than most of us realize and what I think is particularly dangerous is when you hear or read something that's mostly true but it's got parts of it that are not true so how do we know the difference between what is Holy right true and good 100 through and through versus what is wrong and false either totally wrong in false or just an admixture of Truth and error how do we know how do we discern we do it by learning to measure everything we read everything we hear every conversation we have with others by measuring it against the word of God that's right Nancy spending time reading the Bible and meditating on it helps us renew our minds and recognize truth from lies Revive Our Hearts wants to help you dwell on God's word with our savior and share scripture card set it includes 52 beautifully designed cards with a scripture verse on each on the other side is a word or phrase to summarize the verse it's really just a great tool to help you get scripture into your heart and mind you can place these cards around your house as reminders rotate learning them every week or share them with friends the Savor and share a scripture card set is yours with your gift of any amount your support of this ministry means so much to us and this is one way we want to say thanks visit revive ourhearts.com to make your donation or call us at 1-800-569-5959 be sure to ask for your scripture card set that's 1-800-569-5959 well we've talked about why discernment is so important but let's get to the Practical side of this how do we actually become Discerning women Melissa Kruger will be back to explain tomorrow please be back for Revive Our Hearts [Music] Revive Our horse walkermuth encourages you to find Freedom fullness and fruitfulness in Christ