Melissa Kruger - Contentment | Institute | Word First

good evening it's so good to be here with you all I'm so impressed that this many women are out on a kind of cool Thursday evening so and I'm really honored I didn't realize this was the first one so but I'm so glad to get to be here um it would have been more fun if Mike and I could come together that's my dream as we age that we can actually get to do stuff together and come fun places together so it's so nice to be here with you all and I'm really excited actually to get to talk about this topic I'm going to be talking about cultivating contentment and I know sometimes it might seem like this is a talk or subject that we talk about because we all just it's about us we just want to be content but I want to just start really quickly with a little bit of a um I call it kind of an apologetic for why this subject matters and is more than just about you and me personally I actually think one of the most radical things we can do in this world today okay is go into this world full of all of its Brokenness full of all that's hurt full of all of its suffering and live as hopeful people um I think it's something that we don't talk about quite enough and so I want to give you three reasons just as we begin just as we get in into this that we that why this topic is actually radical Christian Living I think we sometimes think radical Christian Living means I move across the world to be a missionary in a place that no one else wants to live I actually believe living a contented life in this world is one of the most radical things we can do as Believers and it speaks to the watching world and so the first reason I think this matter is when we are hopeful people the world is watching us Martin Lloyd Jones he wrote this about a hundred years ago listened to what he wrote he said if ever the world needed the witness and testimony of Christian people it is at this present time the world is unhappy it is distracted I mean you know this is a hundred years ago they did not even have cell phones it is distracted and frightened and what it needs is to see stars shining out of the heavens in the midst of the darkness attracting the World by rebuking that darkness and giving its light showing how it too can live that quality of life I don't know if you remember the verse first Peter when he says but in your hearts honor Christ the Lord Is Holy always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for the reason for the hope that is in you now we read that verse and I don't know if in all the churches I've been in we emphasize what words be prepared to make your defense that's what we you know study apologetics we have to have all the reasons that you know Christianity is true that's where we go with that but I want to ask you this question as we start tonight when was the last time someone came up to you and said tell me about your hope why are you such a hopeful person it's convicting isn't it often we as Christians aren't Shining hope to the watching World we're just as fearful and as discouraged and as disgruntled as those around us I heard a podcast a few years ago with Johnny Erickson tada and she said particularly Christians who suffer have an amazing ability to be what she called spectacles of Glory and when she talked about that she said it's like when Moses saw the burning bush and he saw the burning bush and it was being burned but it wasn't being consumed and what did it make Moses do made him pause and it made him look and he said how is that bush on fire but it's not being consumed and she said people who God calls to suffer in profound ways they're being burned up but they're not consumed and what does it make the watching world do it makes the watching world stop and say what is happening why is that person being burned up but not consumed it makes them question something about our lives when they see us walking through this life and and look we all we we all suffer in different ways and how we handle that Ministry in some ways that's entrusted to us says a lot about our hope and it makes the watching World question what's going on with that person the second thing is the churches actually encouraged so the world notices when we're hopeful in the midst of a broken world but the church is encouraged Paul was concerned about the Thessalonian church he knew that they'd suffered and he was worried about her their faith and so he sent Timothy and he said in all our distress and affliction we have been comforted about you through your faith for now we live if you were standing fast in the Lord I don't know if you've ever had the experience of being really concerned as you watch someone that you know go through difficult things or just you hear about them and you wonder how are they doing and when you hear things like you know they're they're sorrowful but yet they're hopeful it does something to our own faith doesn't it it's kind of the opposite of I find that complaining spreads like a bad germ and you know if I'm complaining then you start complaining and then they start complaining the same is true with contentment watching one another trust the Lord in the midst of our hard places actually encourages and Spurs on others in the face and then the last thing and I think this for me is the most personally profound one is that our joy being joyful people actually matters to Jesus on the night right before he was getting ready to go to the Cross it's interesting you know Jesus knew what was going to happen in his life and at that moment it says that he you know we know that he got down on his knees he washed the disciples feet but he also took the time to teach them and at the end of that teaching time these are the words he said to them he said these things I have spoken to you that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be full that passage comes to us right before Jesus was getting ready to go to the cross for us he was deeply concerned that we would be people of joy and that's what he's so he took the time to teach them so that they would be joyful people so this this subject tonight that I think we often think yeah I want contentment because we want it personally it actually really matters to the watching World it matters to your church brothers and sisters and your joy matters to Jesus so this isn't a selfish topic to delve into tonight it's actually a topic that affects our love for the people around us and so I'm excited as we get into it we're gonna if you're an outline if you're a note taker we're going to look at this at three in three different ways we're going to first look at the Quest for contentment what does it actually mean to be content what does contentment look like what are some characteristics of it so the Quest for contentment we're going to look at the root of our discontentment what is the enemy of contentment I think um we often want to talk about what it is but we need to know what robs us of contentment and then lastly we're going to look at how do we cultivate this rare Jewel in our own lives how do we live as women who are growing in contentment so first of all I want us to begin with what does it mean to be content content what are we talking about I mean I think sometimes I think of it as like swinging in a hammock on a perfect day and there are no such things as mosquitoes and it's just lovely and I have this image of it and I think that's exactly not what scripture teaches about contentment but I also want to stress what it also doesn't say contentment is contentment is not I think it's important to say what it isn't it is not an emotionless life we're in the South a lot of us are really good Southerners and we are really good at putting on a Pollyanna smile and saying oh it's all good it's all good no I know I'm bleeding it's all good it's no problem oh I know I know I just got hit on that no problem that that is not contentment to just act like there aren't hard things um Jesus lived a real life full of real emotions you know when he saw the temple Changers he got angry when he was on the way to the Cross he went when he stood at the tomb of Lazarus he was sad he had real emotions so I think it's really important when we talk about wanting to grow in contentment this doesn't mean we get really good at stifling our emotions that is not contentment here's the definition of the working definition that I like to give of contentment it's an inward Assurance of God's sovereignty and his goodness so it's this inward Assurance we so believe that God is so good and he is so Sovereign that the fruit of joy and peace overflow regardless of what's happening in our lives so it's an inward assure inward assurance that is independent of outward circumstances inwardly we believe some truth so much that affects how it becomes the lens that we look at everything that's happening to us in our lives through it's a gospel lens that we start to put on this does not mean we stop sharing that things are sometimes hard Paul who we're going to look at in just a moment who is completely he said he's learned this secret of contentment you know what he also did he told them he'd been Shipwrecked he told them he'd been beaten he told them he'd been whipped he told them all these hard things that happened he told me daily Bears the anxiety of all the church what he didn't do was say oh it's all good it's all he never he all the time he told them his struggles and he told them their issues so it is not an emotionless life where we just close our eyes it's a life that fully looks at what's going on it says I'm going to trust the Lord with what he's given me um a visual image of this I like to always go back to I think it's it it comes all over scripture you see it in Psalm one there's this picture of this tree that's planted by a stream of water it's picked up again in Jeremiah 17 and I'm going to read Jeremiah 17. it says blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord whose trust is in the Lord he's like a tree planted by the water it sends out its roots by the stream it doesn't fear when the heat comes for its leaves remain green it is not anxious in the year of drought for it does not cease to bear fruit I want you to think about this tree it's planted by a stream and guess what happens circumstances change around this tree constantly sometimes there's it's good weather sometimes there's bad weather whatever this tree is going through externally it's bearing fruit because it's planted by the stream and Jeremiah tells us that this is a person who trusts the Lord that's what this looks like Psalm 1 tells us that this is a person who Delights in the law of the Lord and here's what we find the person who Delights in the law of the Lord is the person who trusts in the Lord so if we're going to be like that stream we're going to be like that tree that's planted by the stream we have to know what's the Stream and the stream is the Sunday School answer the stream is Jesus and he and he talks about this so he picks up so we have this imagery in Psalm one it's repeated in Jeremiah and then we get to Jesus in John 15 and what does he say he says abide in me and if you abide in me what happens you're going to Bear much fruit apart from me you can do nothing so he is this he is the stream that we're to abide in we abide in him and that is how we live a contented joyful life so if we want to be continued contented women I'm going to tell you tonight it is impossible to go out into this world and look for it I just want you to think about the people who get everything they seemingly want out of this world often is is at that exact moment that they crash and burn and you know why they crash and burn because they actually get what they were longing for and they realize it cannot satisfy and you know what happens then they become utterly hopeless and so what the world will show you time and time again if we open something external other than Jesus it's going to leave us empty but if we put our hope if we put our trust at him if we keep seeking him then whether the rain comes or whether the sun shines we are going to be women who keep on bearing fruit Philippians tells us this Paul gives us some characteristics of contentment I think it's helpful to really look at what he says In this passage Philippians 4 11 says I am not saying this because I am knee in Need for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstance I know what it is to be a need I know what it is to have plenty I have learned this secret of being content in any and every situation whether well-fed or hungry whether living in plenty or in want I can do everything through him who gives me strength I don't know about you I have seen that verse plastered on so many like sports teams in my life it's like I can climb the mountain he will give me strength I can run 23 miles or whatever he will give me strength you know what this passage is talking about when Paul says I can do everything through him who gives me strength talking about contentment you know we put it on these things that we think are so hard and I want to tell you living a contented life is harder than running a marathon Paul knows it and that's why he says I can do everything through him who gives me strength and that's our first characteristic of contentment it is actually available if we know Christ if we have the Holy Spirit living in US contentment actually is an option for your life it is an option and it's independent of circumstances and it's dependent upon Christ's strength notice what Paul says there he says I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances I can do everything through him who gives me strength it's not that Paul has it all together it's not that he in himself can Source contentment but he has a stream from which he's drawing which helps him be content and the last point and this is what Jen talked about it's learned and I think this is really important for us because I think the older we get the less we remember what it's like to learn something um I don't know the last time you learned something new I can remember a few years ago my kids convinced me to learn how to ride the RipStik that is like a trip to the ER in a box that's what they should call it but they don't call it that um but they were like Mom you can do this you can totally do this so I don't know if you know what a ripstick is I don't even know if they're still popular they're the it's basically like a skateboard that has two wheels and wiggles so again this is how you were going to go the ER because it Wiggles and you have to like get on it and you have to wiggle and so they convinced me to do this because I want to be the mom who's willing to try things and so I get on this and they're like you're not doing it right Mom and so they get on and then they show me and Okay I hold on and they're teaching me how to do it I get on and then I fall off and then I get on again and I go a little further and then I get on again and it's this constant thing with learning something new isn't it you do it and you mess up and you do it again and you mess up and you do it again and you mess up that's how we learn and we're really uncomfortable with that culturally today that's a whole other talk that I could give about education should be a place where it's okay to fail but we'll save that for another time um but we have forgotten that failure is part of learning so when you think about your life and when we even have this talk sometimes I feel like I'm coming with this Downer and you think I'm such a failure at learning contentment that's okay you can learn again tomorrow you get back up and you say Lord help me be content it's okay we're all going to have days where we spiral into a pit of discontent we're all going to have those days and we we go to the Lord and we say help me and we you know his grace is enough it's enough for you to keep falling off and you need to keep saying dear Jesus make me content that's what learning looks like when Paul says it is learn it is one of the most hopeful things for me who feels like sometimes the slowest student in the lesson of contentment and that's where the Lord keeps making me talk about it because he's like one day you actually get it you know because when you're up here talking about it it continually he continually gives you a classroom in your classroom tomorrow is whatever you wake up to and he says will you trust me will you walk with me in it will you believe that I'm in this school room with you and will you choose to be content in it and will you rely on me to be content and and so that's what contentment is that's what it looks like it's this inward trust in the Lord that's independent of outer circumstances but it has a really big enemy and that enemy is coveting um and so if if I had some music I'd be like but yeah this would go to the bad part contentment's a good thing coveting is the enemy of our souls um I believe that last little Commandment that looks so you know it's kind of like why is that one there I mean like stealing that seems really bad murder that seems really bad adultery yep I get it oh and don't covet that was there just in case you thought you were keeping the other ones this one will just show us all no we have all broken it we have all broken it and so what is coveting okay again what it's not coveting is not having long enough longings and desires we live in a broken Fallen World it is completely normal that there are things in this life that you are going to yearn for good things that you are going to yearn for that we will not all have we will not all get married we will not all have children we will not all have homes and cars and all the things that we might think are normal all of us will have places of longing in our lives that is a normal thing in a fallen and broken world it's also it's also important to say that coveting is not shown by the person who has the most toys in life what you don't do is say wow she's got a big house I bet that's her problem sometimes the Lord gives people a lot some people have a lot of wealth and a lot of money it doesn't mean they're covetous it just might mean that's what the Lord's given them and so it's really important that we distinguish outward circumstances are not what Define coveting it's what's going on in on our hearts that Define if we're coveting so here's the definition I'll give you for coveting it's an inordinate or culpable desire to possess often that which belongs to another so I want to I'll go through that definition again it's an inordinate or culpable desire to possess often that which belongs to another so the term inordinate speaks to Desiring a good thing in a wrong manner so that could be if we have a longing for a good thing but the way in which we are longing is wrong so we could have a longing it's not bad to you know want to have a spouse but if we're willing to go about getting that spouse in wrong or questionable ways that's going to show forth that the good longing has turned bad a culpable longing is talking about longing Something That We're actually not supposed to have so it's one thing to long for a husband it would be another thing to long for someone else's husband that's just always bad okay that's a culpable desire so it's an inordinate we could be longing for it too much or it could be a culpable desire coveting is such a large sense so if I want you to think about coveting like an umbrella sin underneath it are other sins of Desire so Envy is setting our affections on something that belongs to someone else lust is is coveting that's usually sexual in nature but you're wanting something from someone else and then greed describes coveting that's usually related to money or possessions okay so coveting has other words under it that represent it's the it's the big word that represents all of those different types I want to go down a few characteristics of coveting because I think it helps us to spot it it's a sin pattern not a circumstance coveting is not solved by attainment the reality about this in our hearts is it festers so if you think back to what you coveted when you were 16 and then you got it is your life now satisfied and you're all great no because guess what our heart just starts wanting to add something else to it now now there's there's something newer and bigger I mean I think we all go through life like this right when you're in high school you think if I can just get into that college I'm going to finally be satisfied then you get into that college and you think if I can just figure out my major everything will be fine you get into that major and you think if I can just get a job then my life will begin you get the job and then you think if I can just get the husband everything will be fine you get the husband now so we need children then you get the children you're like what on Earth was I thinking when are they going to college and then they go to college you're like oh will they please come home I mean this is how we spend our life it's always either looking forward or looking back and so coveting is not solved by attainment a really good example of this in scripture is the story of Rachel and Jacob if you remember this kind of terrible love triangle that's happening Rachel is desperate to have a child but because her sister has just given birth to the sixth child of the same husband it's very confusing terrible situation and Rachel's desperate to have a child she finally does give birth to a child and she names him Joseph and do you know what the name Joseph means what it let me tell you what it doesn't mean the name Joseph does not mean now I am content because the Lord has finally given me what I longed for the name Joseph means may the Lord add may the Lord add she had finally gotten this baby and you know what immediately she's thinking about I need to catch up to my sister who just had her six and that is honestly what the Covetous heart really sounds like I've got one thing may the Lord add may the Lord add so it's not going to ever be solved by getting what we want because it's a sin pattern not a Circumstance the second thing it's marked by comparison and entitlement so it's not just neutral it's not just a oh you have a red sweater and I have a blue sweater it's not that type of comparison it's a comparison that looks over the fence and says why is God choosing to be good to her in that way and not to me and and I want to say this I wrote Envy of Eve before Instagram existed and you know I was thinking in our normal neighborhoods where you have like 10 Neighbors well with social media you now have like a thousand Neighbors and you have all of these people to compare your life to and you might look and you might say wow look they have that they have that they're Christians why can't I have all that why is God being good to them in that way and not to me I want to just remind you how blind we are when it comes to the comparison game um I was at a baby shower years and years and years ago actually it was just a social event um and my friend there had her name's Elizabeth and she had her little baby at the event my other friend Rebecca was desperate to be married and she was just in a really bad spot about it and as you know we were talking about and having a conversation about and she was like well some people do finally get everything they want look at our friend Elizabeth she's been wanting a baby for years and she just finally had this baby and now she has everything she wants I sat there silently and the reason I sat there silently was because the week before my friend gave birth she found out her husband was unfaithful to her now that is not something you plaster on your Facebook feed that is not something that she could tell anyone in that room I knew because we were walking through life together and she had told me but no one at like two people knew so here she is yes she's holding that baby but her life is falling apart and my friend Rebecca is looking into her life from the outside and saying she has everything she's ever wanted we need to remember that what we do not know what we are comparing when you look over the fence into someone's else's lives you see a little window and I have worked in women's ministry long enough to have been behind enough Windows to know about the pain that every woman in this room is probably carrying into this meeting tonight and it's real convenient to look over the fence into someone else's life and think they have the perfect like if I had that life then I can be content we just don't know we just don't know the Lord is giving you your story and he is asking you to walk through and trust him in it and that's what we need to do as women and that's how we can actually love one another because if I'm always looking at you and thinking you've got it all it's going to be really hard for me to love my neighbor as myself because I'm going to only see you as a measuring stick of how God is failing to be good to me and I'm never going to love you well if I'm doing that so coveting again and I I do want to stress this one point it's not just money and possessions I think we limit the Commandment when we do that it actually can be we can relationally covet you might walk into a lunch and see you might be out and see friends out to lunch and you think why didn't they invite me what's wrong with me we can covet friendships people have we can covet relationships we have we can covet husbands other people have we can be like wow his husband that her husband is always home at 5 PM how is that even possible you know we can covet all sorts of things we can covet seasons and circumstances we can be in the exact same season as someone else but we can look over the fence and be like yeah but her mom lives in town she has all this help in this season of life where we can look at the circumstances yeah well her husband makes a lot more money or she has a better job or she got a big bonus last year and I didn't get that she gets to go on vacation we can just do all this internal comparing about lots of things outside of money and possessions we can also look at giftedness and abilities and we can look over the fence and be like wow I wish I was gifted like she was I mean I can do this with singing all day long one day I will be able to sing right now I am always terrified when I am miked that they will forget to turn the mic off when the singing happens because you all know you will not covet my singing ability if you heard it so this is but this is the reality we look over the fence and think why wasn't I gifted that way rather than saying take the gifts you've given me Lord and let me use them For Your Glory okay third third characteristic coveting is a begetting type of sin um Thomas Watson talked about this and this imagery has always stuck with me he said it's the sin that gives birth to all the others and that's why it's so dangerous it's like this little you know Fern it's just pretty it's just producing all these bad things adultery doesn't happen just on its own it first starts with lust stealing first happens with Envy all of these things are going on in our hearts long before they come out in our hands so these things are all happening and they're just harming others as they kind of come to the surface okay second question I want us to talk about with coveting is how do we know if we're doing it so I said earlier we all have longings that's a normal thing how do we know when a longing has turned Covetous and what I want to say is think about this for yourself don't think about this for your next door neighbor it's really easy sometimes yeah it has crossed the line over there and she is clearly coveting um and not look at ourselves so I like to say it's it's the example I ate to give are two jugs of milk in the fridge if you have two jugs of milk just looking at them all you know is they're jugs of milk sitting there so two women can have the exact same desire it can be sitting there but as you start to pour one and you start to smell it and then you start to see chunks you're like okay that desire has soured and so most often we can know our desire has soured when we see that our our life stops bearing the fruit of the spirit rather than love joy peace patience kindness join self-control all those things there's good fruit what starts coming out is unkindness impatience a lack of love a lack of self-control when you start saying to yourself because I don't have that I can do this when you start living that life you start you that's that's the sign of Desire soured and that's normally what you're going to see I remember a few years ago this was actually now it's probably like 15 years ago The Years start going really quickly um I remember I was at the park when I had young kids and I was there with a bunch of my friends and this park was great because it was a fenced-in Park and there was a busy road outside of the fence and there was a big field outside of the fence and so all of the older kids came to us and said hey can we play in the field outside of the fence we want to run and Play Soccer over there and the moms kind of conferred at the picnic tables and we looked at each other and we're like no because if you all go outside the fence then the little kids are going to want to go outside the fence and there's this big road so it's going to be dangerous for everyone so we said no now I want to tell you about this playground this playground had plenty of things to play with there were slides there were sandboxes there were monkey bars there was all this stuff to play with about five minutes after we had told the big kids no we looked up and let me tell you every one of those big kids you know what they were doing they were standing at the fence and they were just looking at the field behind them was plenty of space for them to play but they were fixated on what was lacking and here's what coveting does coveting will rob you of everything that's in your playground because you were fixated on the one thing that's lacking and I looked at those kids and I was like this is so often how I live my life I'm fixated on what I want in such a way that I miss all the good things that God has given me and normally that's when you're going to start seeing when you realize I'm missing my life when you say I find it really hard to be thankful about anything because we get consumed with the longing for what we don't have and I think that's just really a sign that coveting has started to fester in our heart and so I want to get to the core of it and I want to dig in because I think it's really helpful as we dig into what is at the heart of that coveting and at the heart of coveting at the heart of all of sin is unbelief three unbeliefs I want us to look at um the first is unbelief in God's character we actually and this is the hardest to admit to ourselves so I want to start here coveting really shows that we either believe God is not sovereign or God is not good um the example I'll like to use okay if you picture that if if that board up there was just picture well I always picture a whiteboard that's black but just picture that whole board and if I were to go up to that and put a little white dot on that Blackboard and I were to say um and overestimate myself and to say that's about how much about the world I know an hour to look at the whole board and say that's what God knows about the universe well first of all I'd be greatly limiting them right to to look at that big board and he knows so much more he's infinite so I'm limiting him if look at this big board that's everything God knows about all that's happening in this world and I am this little dot this is my perspective and this little dot I stand at the great job to the great God and I'm like yeah I think my view knows more than your view and that the little dot tells the great God of all the Universe I don't really think you know how you're running it very well and when I covet I am essentially looking at God and saying I I don't think you I don't think you're doing this very well we think of it as this little quiet sin that's just in our hearts I want to actually say it is Cosmic Rebellion when we covet we are saying the finite is looking at the infinite and we are saying you don't really know what you're doing I mean this is like a two-year-old saying I mean like looking at the parents saying I got this and you know they don't they don't have this can you imagine your life if you got to make all the choices now that would absolutely terrify me because not only does that mean I'm in charge of my choices it means you're in charge of your choices and what happened when your choices intersect my choices it's terrifying to think that we might be in control of this world it's absolutely terrifying and so the first thing that my coveting reveals is actually my unbelief about who God is it reveals my unbelief of who God is the second thing it reveals my unbelief about my true home a few years ago we lived overseas in Cambridge England and I know I mean I say that and I'm like that's not just sound wonderful and it was wonderful but we lived in a home that um it was different than the home I have here okay it had like a dorm size refrigerator which I had to feed a family of five so it was like playing Tetris every time I put all the food in there um my dryer was in the bathroom and my washing machine was in the kitchen yeah so you're pulling everything out and you're taking it around the corner to the bathroom they're just weird things there's a quirky British home um there were just different little things about it I didn't have many friends there we were there just for a few months but there was something about that house that never bothered me and the reason all those little inconveniences about the house never bothered me is because I knew it wasn't my real home I had a home back in Charlotte and embarrassingly my home in Charlotte has two full-size refrigerators there's one inside there's one in the garage because we have a lot of drinks in the in the garage to keep things I knew I had a real home back in Charlotte so guess what I could do I could deal with the inconveniences of my home in Cambridge because I knew I was going back home I knew there was a place waiting for me I I could manage this world and just enjoy the ride enjoy my time there it was okay that the decor was a little weird and quirky because I wasn't staying here's the thing we have a real home and it's not this one and when we live like this is our home it is going to rob us of our ability to enjoy it when we live we try to we try to make this world so comfortable because we act like we're gonna stay we are going to be miserable but we can enjoy the quirks and the fridge that's too small we have a glorious homecoming when we actually live like a citizen and a stranger that's when we start enjoying this life rather than waiting for the life rather than believing that this is the life we're waiting for we're looking forward to the life that's to come the third thing we have unbelief about our purpose our purpose is not to be made into the image of everyone around us God has a much greater and more glorious purpose for your life and here's the thing he knows exactly what tools you need to become the woman he is making you to be and the tools are not the same because my piece of clay is not the same as your piece of clay he is working to Fashion each of us we know that all things are working for good for what not for our personal happiness all things are working together for the good so that we might be fashioned into the image of his son and he is somehow purposing all the things in your life and all the things in my life that we might look somehow more like Jesus I love this quote from C.S Lewis this is what he says imagine yourself as a living house God comes in to rebuild that house at first perhaps you can understand what he's doing he's getting the drains right and stopping the leaks and the roof and so on you knew that those jobs needed to be doing so you're not surprised but presently he starts knocking the house about in such a way that it hurts abominably and does not seem to make sense what on Earth is he up to the explanation is that he is building quite a different house from the one you thought of throwing out a new Wing here putting on an extra floor there running up Towers making Courtyards you thought you were going to be made into a decent little cottage He is building a palace he intends to come and live in it himself don't be content to dream about the life someone else has dream about the life the Lord is trying to give you all the circumstances in your life are working for the good of making you like Jesus so these are the three characteristics kind of of coveting the unbelief is the heart of the problem and lastly I just want to comment a little bit on the pattern we don't have time to get into it deeply here this pattern is all over scripture and the pattern that coveting usually takes is this C covet take and hide the first time we see this pattern is in the garden Eve sees the fruit she covets the word their commodity it said she saw that it was desirable it's kamad is the Hebrew word for desire that's used all through the scriptures to talk about coveting she coveted what did she do she took and then she hid from her husband the very next Garden we get into do you know what the next Garden is it's the Promised Land what happens in the promised land we have Aiken just the very first battle in the promised land Aiken gets in there and he is told all of the Israelites are told don't take anything from the city of Jericho no one's to take anything it's all under the ban Aiken takes something it says he saw in the rubble a robe and some gold and he took and he hid it under his tent he saw he coveted he took and he hid then guess where we get first Kingdom who's the first real King David what does David do he sees who does he see he sees Bathsheba what do we know he does he covets her what does he do he takes her and then he hides what he's done lest you think this is just a small sin do you know what sin sent your savior to the cross what did the chief priest why were they so upset with Jesus the text tells us they were envious of his power over the people they saw him they coveted what he had and what did they do they took him and they hug him on a cross and they tried to hide him in a tomb praise the Lord it didn't work because he rose but that's the pattern and so I want you to as you think about your own life there are a lot of different ways we see there's a lot of different ways we covet there's a lot of different ways we take and then we try to hide notice the pattern because if you notice the pattern you can fight the pattern so how do we do that how do we cultivate contentment in our hearts how do we we know what contentment is we've talked about what Biblical contentment looks like we've looked at this enemy of coveting how do we cultivate contentment in our hearts the first thing is always going to be deep gratitude for the cross I think we need to be Christians who think about the cross every single day of Our Lives because any time the Lord asks you to hold some longing just remember the Lord who is asking you to hold that longing he has nail scarred hands if he asks you can't you say I trust you he's asking every woman in this room to hold certain longings and he asked us but he comes from the position of I came to this earth I lived in all the suffering that you live in and I died so that I can take you out of this Earth to your home will you trust me in the meantime that's what he's constantly asking us to do will you trust him in the meantime and the second thing is will you rely on the power of the cross in your life here's the thing the cross is good news because it totally wipes away our debt if we are in Christ the cross is this Grand Declaration of freedom for you and for me the Lord takes it all on him there is not an ounce of punishment left for you or for me that is the best news but it's not just that he erases what we have done he gives us a new power we are no longer slaves we are made free to walk new to live hopeful lives in this mess of a world because his power is alive within us listen to what II Peter promises his divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who has called us by his own glory and goodness through these he has given us very great and precious promises so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires there is an escape plan for you and me and it's the power of Christ at work in our lives now you may hear that and you may think I missed out on the power and the reality is the Lord gives us his power through what are called means of Grace so you know our little cell phones can do a lot but what happens if you forget your charger when you travel the cell phone can do absolutely nothing without a power source and the Lord has designed our spiritual lives in such a way that the power he has for us is Unleashed as we do certain things the way we live matters about how his power Works within us and the first thing he tells us to do is to abide in him if we do not plug into him as the power source we will not have the power to live a contented life and fight the desires that are within our soul that are robbing us of joy and so if we're going to put on a new power it starts by abiding in him and the second thing I actually want to encourage you in it starts in abiding in him and I actually want to encourage you to desire more out of life not less I said this at the beginning fighting coveting and seeking contentment is not about Desiring Less in life I actually think it is about Desiring better things a few years ago a book came out that sold a lot in kind of the Christian space and the author of it encouraged her readers to create a dream wall and on the dream wall on her personal dream wall she had put things like being on the cover of Forbes and having a home in Hawaii and yeah all these other sorts of things and I remember reading this book and I I thought to myself yeah I don't think those are enough to make me content because here's what I know about my own heart if I was on the cover of Forbes guess what I'd be doing I'd be looking at it and be like oh why did I wear that outfit that pattern looks terrible on me I cannot believe they took my picture from that angle I would be extremely discontent about whatever cover I'm sure Forbes put of me then if I had that beach house in Hawaii you know what I'd probably be doing I cannot believe y'all are all bringing sand into my house again and I'd be complaining or I'd be saying you know I brought my friend Sue here three times and she just doesn't appreciate it and you know I keep trying and I would find something to be discontent about our Dream walls are actually too small what if up on our Dream wall we put love Joy peace patience kind what if we put Lord make me like this no matter what happens God that's a dream wall don't dream less dream more ask the Lord to make you such a light of contentment that people constantly are coming up to you and saying tell me about the hope you have why are you such a hopeful person in this world look at all that's gone wrong in your life what's wrong with you why are you so hopeful that's your dream wall so abide in Christ dream bigger dreams give generously to others that's another way you're gonna you're gonna fight and and cultivate contentment give generously to others and the last thing I just want to encourage you is confess freely rather than hide um I think we often can hide our discontentment through prayer requests that go on and on about our circumstances it's fine again to tell people what's going on in your life I'm not saying don't share about your circumstances share about your circumstances but have you ever noticed that sometimes you feel like you're trying to prove to people why it's okay for you to be discontent rather than just come out and say hey I am super discontent your friends can tell that you're super discontent you're not really telling them anything they don't already know but just own it say my life is not where I thought it would be at this point I am really really struggling with contentment will you pray for me and just be honest every woman in that room is struggling with something confess to one another the Lord can change Us and how does he do it when we pray that's how he heals us we come to each other and we pray so I just want to encourage seek the Lord desire better things give generously and confess freely and that's how we're going to be women who walk in this world as hopeful contented women let me close this in prayer father we come before you as women who do live in broken worlds that are full of sin and sorrow and hardship and longing and Lord we come to you with our desires and we know that the psalmist said all of our desires lie before you Lord we ask that we would be women who have such a deep trust in you who have such a deep desire to glorify you and all that we do that we hold our longings in such a way that we are spectacles of Glory that we are constantly through our what we are lacking and through what we have pointing others to you Lord that that we would walk through this life joyfully proclaiming the message that you are enough to satisfy us Lord we pray that you would make us women who hope in the home that is coming who believe that you are working all things for our good Lord we pray that you would change us make us more like Christ and let that just be something that would fill our hearts so that we could be as Jesus asked that our that his Joy would be in us and that our joy would be full we ask this in your name amen