Melissa Kruger: How should we shape our kids' identities? | Word First

foreign [Music] of shaping our kids identities I think the place we actually begin is realizing that we're people who are having our identity shaped as parents and so the passage I always like to turn to when I think about identity and really shaping our kids is Deuteronomy 6 and the command before there's a command to teach our children there's actually a command for the parents and it says love the Lord with all your heart with all your strength with all your might and then it says these commands that I give you are to be on your heart you are to be in the word you're to be reading it so if we're going to shape our kids identity the thing that we have to really focus on is what is shaping us and so when we talk about shaping our kids I think it's always good to remember that we're actually being shaped by the Lord's work in our own lives and so the thing that we need to keep in mind is what is my goal for my kids I think we live in this world and there are a lot of different things shouting at us that our kids need to be our kids need to be great athletes our kids need to be great at school our kids need to be really socially Adept and all of these things are coming at us and they're trying to fill the purpose we want for our kids but the reality is the greatest thing the greatest hope that we have for our kids is actually that they know Christ and that they live their life in him he said that he had come that they might have life and have it abundantly so keeping that purpose in mind that our greatest goal for our kids is not necessarily what they become but what they believe about the person and work of Jesus Christ so that purpose is going to shape our priorities so if we keep that first purpose in mind that we really want to raise kids who know who Christ is and believe in the work that he's done on their behalf that's going to shape how we live and how we manage our homes we might choose to say no to certain things so that we can say yes to other things that are priorities for our kids and I think one of the biggest ones we can say yes to is the practice weekly of going to church with one another that really shapes our kids identity that they see themselves as a member of this body of Believers and that going to church every Sunday is just really normal to them we live in a world where kids are increasingly isolated they don't know where they belong and one of the things we teach them about their identity as a Christian is you're not a Christian by yourself you're actually a Christian who belongs with other Christians in this body called The Church as as we know our purpose and we consider our priorities that's going to shape what we do with our time but it's also going to shape the practice of faith in our homes the reality is I think we all know this kids can definitely spot a fake they know if our practice of religion is simply in word and not indeed so we want our homes to be places where they actually see the life of Christianity being lived and when they see that not happening because every family has days when we're impatient when we're unkind when we're unloving what they actually see is we confess we say hey I didn't do that right will you forgive me that's what we do we say we're sorry we confess when we do things wrong and we live a life before one another where we seek to follow Christ in our daily lives it's not just that we're telling them to walk with the Lord but actually we have God's word on our hearts and in our lives and we're being changed on a daily basis I think we sometimes discount what it means for a child to see Mom or Dad reading their Bibles on their own during the middle of the week and praying for them I remember talking to my daughter about it one time and she said mom watching you spend time in the Bible on your own made me want to do that as part of my life and so what they're seeing as our example is going to really shape their own practice of Faith as they age and then the last thing I think that we can't discount that as we're shaping our kids identity is our presence in the home being around our kids living as a Christian is going to leave this impression on them that they're going to have for the rest of their lives and one of the biggest ways I actually think we can do this is what I call kind of the ministry of delight when you think about your kids walking into your room what do they see on your face do they see oh I interrupted them do they see I annoyed them or do they see that you Delight in them we love them and giving them that love is actually really reflective of the love of the father for each of us so we in a way get to represent God's love to them in these little years in hopes that we're introducing them to the better and bigger love of God as they go through their lives as we're talking to them as we go on our way as we're walking on the street as we're driving in the car as we're at their soccer games as we're doing all of life together we have an opportunity to share our presence with them in a way that shares our faith naturally with them and so that is a huge way that we shape our kids identity by just being around them they see what we love they see what we do with our time they see what we're thinking and talking about with our lives and that's going to leave a huge impression I think sometimes we're very fearful of the influences of culture on our kids lives but I think we can take heart that the main way that they are shaped in their lives is actually through the faith they see being passed down from their parents to the kids and so that is a huge responsibility on our part but it's also a wonderful thing for us to realize that the faith that we live before our kids the Lord is able to take that and really impact their lives not just during the their childhood or during the teen years but they're going to remember that for all of their life and so it's really encouraging to remember that the things we do in our home each day are greatly shaping the identity that our kids will have their whole life through foreign