Michael and Melissa Kruger | Lessons We’ve Learned as Parents | Word First

well we're coming up on 18 years almost as parents our oldest is getting ready to be a rising senior and she's 17 and a half and so it's been a joy to sort of look back and think about the lessons we've learned over the years about parenting and and thinking about what's worked what hasn't worked and and you know when we think about that I I would start just by saying that when I think about our parenting we realized that we were not perfect parents in many ways people asked the question hey you know you got you've been doing parenting for 18 years so you must have all the answers and I think the first thing I would say is I'm sure Melissa would agree is that we don't have all the answers and in fact we're hardly the model we would think for the sort of perfect parents that said I think that's one of the lessons I would mention right off the bat is that you don't have to be a perfect parent to be a blessing to your children you don't have to do everything right in order to be effective as a parent one of the things we try to do with our kids is model what it looks like to fail and confess that you failed repent and look to Christ for grace so what I always tell people is you don't want to just teach your kids the gospel or share the gospel your kids you want to model the gospel to your children by saying hey we're sinners too and is we're trying to lead this family we make mistakes and we're going to look to Christ we want you to see us looking to Christ as a picture what it means to have a Christ centered family so that's one of the the lessons I would add I'm sure Melissa has has several - yeah I think it's so important how we do as we model what to do with our failure that's just so important to them because they're gonna grow up and they're gonna struggle with sin and failure and one of the other things I think that's so important to model I'm is really taught to us in Deuteronomy 6 which is that we are to love the Lord our God with all our heart our soul and our strength and then we teach our children so one of the important things for me in motherhood is to learn to be a mom who is prayerful and a mom who's in the word each day and I have realized that that example for my kids will probably affect and encourage them more than having the perfect meals or the perfect perfectly deck or all these other things that we can spend our time on so much as parents but that being parents who cling to Christ in our own lives and have our affection centered on him before they are centered on our children it's really easy in just in our families to put our children at the center of our homes and Christ needs to be at the center of our homes and it's actually good for our children that they see our greatest affection directed toward Christ rather than them they really can't take the weight of all of our affection and love and that our life would be just about them our life's need to be about something bigger and so that's keeping our affection set on the ward and then training our children to do the same that's been one of those things that I've just learned is so important from my focus in my gaze to be on Christ as I am parenting my children yeah I mean I would add that that you know we tell we want to tell our kids directly you are not the number one thing that this family is about and in a culture where kids are the number one thing about everything that sounds so counterintuitive but we want to say look Christ is a number one thing in this family and you are part of this family and we together are gonna serve Him and love him and I think that's a key balance for the kids and you know just one other thought here as far as lessons go you know there's a lot that can be said about the role parents have in family devotions and things like this and those are important things I know that some parents think they don't matter and they think not only do they not matter but I'm not very good at them anyway and I don't really know how to do a family devotion and I feel like my little lessons don't really have much weight I would just encourage parents out there to not underestimate the effectiveness of regular time in the word with your kids starting young and moving on to the ages that it seems like little crumbs but over time it makes a whole meal and that I think is something to keep in mind when you think about the long haul yeah and one thing I would add to that is it doesn't have to be perfect but I like to talk about it being the pattern of your home so it's not that you have even family devotion times every single day perfectly for you know 365 days a year every year of your child's life but what's the pattern of your home is your home place of prayer is it a place that the word is read and studied and memorized those patterns you know just like Mike said are gonna build a lifetime of memories for them and it's just such a joy when you see that and when you went one last thing I'll just say when you teach the word to your children do it with warmth do it with joy and fun as much as you can so that those times around the family table are actually fun and a delight I mean those are things I look back on with great joy the times we laughed when words weren't said quite correctly when they're memorizing the Catechism and things like that it's to bring warmth into those times and deep affection for the Lord that's gonna help them look back on those times as special memories rather than we were forced to memorize the Catechism it really can be actually a joyful fun time family and just a sort of and this can be the last thing you know one of the final lessons that we'll share is that we think you always parent with the the goal in mind of helping your kids be ready to leave when it's time to leave and what I mean by that is not just ready to leave financially you already leave educationally although those things are important but ready to leave theologically that they are able to go out into the world and and make it with all the hostility there is towards Christianity out there and so shaping their worldview shaping their Christian commitments shaping their theology is so important for a parent so you're gearing them up to step out into that difficult world and be faithful for Christ over the long haul you